Are You Living A “Whentality” Life?

The Whentality: “A Future-focused existence robs us of the magic of the day. Many in modern-day western society have conditioned themselves to believe that they must wait until some opportune time in the future before they can truly live. For some, that time may be the weekend, or when the kids leave home, or when they finally get that dream job. There is an expectation that these “whens” we’ve deemed as our salvation will roll in like pomp and circumstance and make everything right. Inevitably, when these much anticipated “whens” occur without any radical shift in our perceived sense of fulfillment, we are forced to consider that maybe our serenity was not to be found in the future. It can only be found now, in the present, in our conscious awareness. Happiness will always elude you if you turn it into a goal. You’ve got to find it in this moment.”

I recently came across this quote posted on a site and this new word “WHENTALITY”  totally resonated with me.  This describes exactly what I have been doing for months, especially with this blog.  Note, last posting was in September.  I would say to myself, I need to do another blog, but I have this or that going on and “WHEN” I am finished with this or that I will get to it. How did that play out?  “WHEN” took me to when the two weddings I was going to were over.  Then “WHEN” became when our out of town guests leave, then “WHEN” said when we get back from a week trip in November to Seattle.  By now “WHEN” was becoming a permanent fixture in my life.  I found out “WHEN” loves the holidays so here it is the 29th of January and finally “WHEN” is becoming NOW!  

So funny I am always sharing how important the NOW is and in reality I thought I was into the NOW but I was so busy planning “WHEN’S”

Okay, so now that all my “WHENS”, (at least for now), are out of the way I will take a few words to tell you what has been going on in my busy world.

It has been a rough few months physically and somedays I wonder where is all this headed.  Cancer is cunning and baffling!   It has been a real lesson in taking things a day at a time..  The good news is even though I still have a lot of physical things to deal with my energy & emotional level is pretty great.  My labs all come back good and my tumor marker is still in the normal range.

I have been pursuing an alternative healthier & natural approach in my healing journey (which is a topic to be shared in another blog).  It is a slower process but I am seeing progress.  And no this is not a “WHENTALITY” statement but a future blog that is in the process of developing ……..

So I am signing off with the following visual and want you to ask yourself if you are “Living A Whentality Life?”




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“Sometimes letting things go is an act of  far greater power than defending or hanging on” …….Eckhart Tolle

I am changing. The universe around me is changing. Just because something was right for me in the past doesn’t mean it still is.

Change has happened slowly as I grow.  I am discovering more about who I am and what I want out of life.  The discovery that certain areas of the lifestyle I was living no longer fit.  The situations & routines no longer are in align with what I want out of life.  I cherish the memories of some of these old routines & situations but it is time to let go and move on.

I have learned that when life sets me up with a challenge, there’s a reason for it; it’s meant to test my courage and willingness to make a change and take a chance on something new.

Life only moves in one direction – forward.  A challenge is the chance to let go of the old and make way for the new.

I found myself hanging on to something I wasn’t sure I really wanted anymore or perhaps wanted for the wrong reasons. I found myself resentful and critical.  Trying to force results that were not in me to do and then I finally realized it wasn’t meant to be.

I started looking at my situations with objective eyes and saw that it was time for a change and that meant separating myself from the outcome and doing what felt right for me and not worry about what others may think. This is a biggie because I want everyone to accept my decisions and reality is not everyone is on the same page and I need to accept that this okay because we all have our own journey in life.  I have learned many lessons about this with my cancer treatment decisions the last 4 years.

I have to remember that “acceptance” is the first step. Being open to knowing when a situation is no longer working  and being open to change direction is an important step to acceptance.

Being completely unattached to the outcome of the decision being made creates freedom. It creates the space for powerful decisions to be made.  Examining what works and what doesn’t work.   Asking myself if I am thriving in a situation or just merely surviving in a situation.  Just knowing, on a deep, subconscious level, that I will be okay will extract some of the drama out of the situation and will create peace.

The changes in my life are not earth shattering but subtle revelations of a deep understanding of who I am and realizing all that is presented to me is for spiritual growth.  I am putting myself into an environment that challenges creativity & growth.  Reigniting the spark that has been missing in life for awhile and being open to letting the universe provide what it is that I have been missing.  It is always great to also have my love & partner in life also embracing his own personal changes along with changes we are doing together.  Being open to a new direction that is being offered to us individually & as a couple. We know that we will have challenges and it may not be an easy journey but we do know that the things being presented to us on a daily basis are gifts to enjoy or learn from NOW.

On a more concrete note I am doing quite well.  I am still taking my chemo pills two weeks on and one week off.  My lab tests are all still coming back in the normal range and my tumor (CEA) marker has been staying around 1.1.  It is considered normal up to 5.0.  I was 32.0 when I was first diagnosed almost 4 years ago.  So I am grateful!  I have my issues with side effects of chemo & still having the tumor but if this is all I have to deal with I am a happy camper.


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Ponder a minute on this question while I fill you in on the latest updates in my life.

I have been on a hiatus from chemo for a month to give my body a rest.  I am not really sure I was all that rested, because to be quite honest I expected the side effects would go away for awhile but what actually occurred is that somedays they got worse even though I was no longer ingesting the pills.  I know that chemo continues to work in your body for awhile after taking but I wasn’t quite expecting to feel like I did.  I went back on my treatment regime of two weeks on and one week off this past Saturday.  My body reacted negatively on Saturday but by yesterday I felt much better.  As much as I hate the idea of putting this chemical back into my system I know it is what I need to be doing now and I am thankful that the Xeloda pill works for me.

I have been keeping myself busy with a lot of fun projects.  I just did a video for an 80th birthday and I am planning 2 bridal showers.  Being creative & artistic is my therapy.

Back to the question of “artists born or made?”. . . .

This is a good question, I use to think you were born, but I have become to think that we all have an artist within or a talent within wanting to come out.  Artist can encompass many talents such as being a chef, musician, painter or a designer to name a few.

In my own experience,  I think some people are born with innate abilities. Some maybe not. I have always had an affinity for drawing and art, as far back as I could hold a pencil or crayon I was drawing and that is how I spent a majority of my time. BUT innate talent only gets one so far, one does have to learn the methods and theories of art and hone their skills, I studied art in college and  I learned a lot and was able to better create what I saw in my mind’s eye and translate it to a canvas by being schooled.

Many people flinch or start shaking their heads when they hear the word “creativity.” “Oh, no, I’m not creative at all,” they say. That’s for other people, the artists and inventors and so on.

I believe each of us is born with all the ingredients for living a creative life. I believe that we are all “Creative Beings” — that we all, each and every one of us, possess creativity. What happens to us that we can’t access it, or we forget about it, or we no longer believe in it?

What keeps us from believing in our creative talents?  If all people have an inner artist of some sort could it be that the way some are brought up robs them of their unique qualities? Could it be that they lack passion in developing the creativity inside them?

For me, passion drives creativity because it makes it personal. I care about what I’m doing so I want to give it everything I’ve got.

What drives you to create?



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Listening To Your Inner Voice

Last Friday I had my appointment with my oncologist to discuss my “body” and what it is telling me about what has transpired since I have been on a regiment of chemo. 2 weeks on and 1 week off for the last 12 weeks.

#1: Tumor has shrunk considerably

#2: Lab tests are all in the normal range

#3: No more pain

#4: Fatigue is pretty much gone

#5: Experiencing side effects of hand & foot syndrome

#6: Body & Mind is saying I want a break!

What I want to share in this blog is #6.  Even though I had no real major side effects I had been dreading the next round of chemo and actually found my stress level elevated when I would think about the next round.  What I came to realize is that my body was telling me that it needed a break.  I am pleased with the results so far and part of my stress level was if I listen to what my head & body is saying will it jeopardize the results that have been happening or do I “listen to that inner voice” that says it is okay to give myself a break and take that time to re-group, partake in the antioxidants that I know are good for fighting cancer but can interfere with chemo being effective? I had a battle going on between my ears.
I am blessed to have an oncologist who listens to my concerns & answers my questions.  And most importantly, gives my opinions & thoughts consideration. After discussing all the positive things with what has transpired so far this last 12 weeks we talked about my anxiety & feelings of needing to have a short reprieve. She validated that I should pay attention to what my inner voice was asking for and she prescribed a month rest. Yay!!

On this subject of listening to your body, it is important to note that our bodies are programmed for survival. Heeding early warning symptoms protects our health. We need to familiarize ourselves with how our body speaks to us. It wants us to be well and it will tell us if we are not.

Hippocrates wrote over two thousand years ago, “There is a measure of conscious thought throughout the body.” This is practical wisdom we can live by.

To listen to our body and get a headstart on warding off symptoms,  we need to get used to detecting the quieter messages our body sends. It’s important to listen to what our gut says, whether it’s tied up in knots or relaxed — this intuition can inform all our decisions by pointing us to people and situations we are comfortable with. Also to notice our energy level around people. Does it go up or down? Our body picks up on this quickly. It is important to surround ourself with positive people. This will improve our health and well-being.

Our body is in constant communication with us – we just need to pay better attention to its messages that steer us towards joy and aliveness. The communication of our Inner Self can appear as an intuitive hunch that might urge us to take an overdue vacation or spend some time outdoors. 

Other times the Inner Self communicates through a tension headache, chronic back pain or an upset stomach. None of these non-verbal messages occur by chance. They are messages from our Inner Self  helping us to arrive at the insight or experience that we need to regain balance and wholeness. 

“If you want to see what your body will look like tomorrow, look at your thoughts today. ”-Navajo saying

I will end  with this image that my inner voice told me to share with you . . .


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Being Your Authentic Self



The last few weeks have been truly a lesson in living my life to its fullest and not taking anything or anyone for granted.  Unfortunately, this revelation has had to come in the form of three lives taken from this world leaving sadness, things unsaid and things undone for those left behind.  My dearest and oldest girlfriend of 46 years was taken without any warning on April 13th.  Her heart just gave out.  It was probably the best way to go because she didn’t have days or months of suffering but it left such a sadness and void in all of us left behind.  I thought of all the things we said we were going to do “someday” with each other and all the things I wish I could have told her before she left this world.  I know that she is with me in spirit but it still is hard and painful.

Another acquaintance was killed in a head on collision and another passed on after several years of battling cancer.  Each leaving those they loved wishing for more time and wishing for more adventures together.

How many of us go through our life doing what we feel others want us to do or be and don’t live the life we were destined to live.  Being our authentic self and living life to its fullest.  I am happy to say I believe all three of these ladies were on that path.  Especially, I know my girlfriend, Linda, was.  She and her husband, Danny. followed their dreams of being on the road and traveling all over the states.  They gave up jobs that they felt stifled in and listened to their inner voices and pursued their dreams.  Not caring about money or prestige or what others thought. They did what most of us need to do, they LIVED.

Even with challenges, such as in my case, dealing with cancer,  there is hope for miracles created with positive experiences and listening to that inner voice that says to LIVE unconditionally, be authentic and to listen to what our bodies are telling us is needed to live or heal and not necessarily following what someone else thinks we need to do. Tell those we love how much they mean to us and do the things we keep putting off because it doesn’t seem to be the right time.  The right time is TODAY.

TODAY I am being my Authentic Self and will embrace the side effects of chemo, not as being poison but as the miracle pill that is allowing me to keep experiencing who I am, who you are and open to all the adventures that are still out there waiting for me to discover.   We all were born special & unique, an original and somewhere along the journey of life some of us have lost that originality and have become a copy of what someone else thinks we should be or we thought we should be.

 I was born an original and I will not die a copy.

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